As they shared their stories and experiences, their preconceptions melted away, and they became fast friends. They’ve even shared a Shabbat meal together! Here, Dori and Phaygi take us through their experiences of discovering friendship and understanding.

Dori:

When Rabbi Benyamin Moss and I first met about two years ago, we discussed a vision of a more unified Baltimore Jewish community. He told me about a program he was hoping to launch in Baltimore, called Partners Baltimore. I was immediately intrigued. Even before the tragic events of October 7, the idea of this program struck me as a powerful way to bridge the divides among the Jewish community and bring people together, especially with the rise of antisemitism. So, when Rabbi Moss texted me to say that the program was happening and that he wanted me to be a part of it, I didn’t hesitate.

I walked into the first Partners Baltimore event not knowing what to expect, only that we’d all be paired with someone from a different level of observance. As someone who grew up Reconstructionist, but now belongs to Baltimore Hebrew Congregation, I knew I’d be paired with someone Orthodox. When I saw Phaygi’s name as my partner, I didn’t know who she was, but a few people reassured me that I’d love her.

And they were right. The moment Phaygi sat down with me, it felt like reconnecting with an old friend. We just clicked. Our personalities meshed so well that it felt like we’d been friends for years.

One of the things that struck me about our conversations was how comfortable we felt with each other despite coming from different backgrounds. Growing up on Long Island, I didn’t have much exposure to the Orthodox world, and it always felt intimidating.

There’s this misconception that if you’re not Orthodox, you’re not a “real Jew,” and that kind of thinking creates unnecessary divides. In speaking with Phaygi, it became clear that we’re more alike than different. Yes, we may look different or practice Judaism differently, but at the end of the day, at our core, we’re both Jewish and love our religion.

Our friendship has extended beyond Partners Baltimore. We text each other often and we shared a Shabbat meal together before the summer. Spending Shabbat together was really meaningful to me.

I was initially nervous about the Orthodox customs and whether I’d feel comfortable. Phaygi’s warmth and the care she took in accommodating my daughter’s gluten-free diet, due to celiac, made us feel completely at home. It was a powerful reminder that, despite our differences, we’re all part of the same community, and we can come together in meaningful ways.

Phaygi:

When I first heard about Partners Baltimore, I was hesitant. The program pairs people from the Jewish community to study select texts together. Being Orthodox, I thought they’d assume I could translate and explain any Jewish texts — something I didn’t feel confident about, so I was worried I wouldn’t represent well. But, I was reassured that we’d be learning the texts together in English, and not me teaching.

When I arrived, Rabbi Moss added to my nerves by telling me I’d be paired with someone who is important in the Jewish community — a “mover and shaker.” When Dori sat down, all those nerves disappeared.

From the moment we started schmoozing, it just felt like catching up with an old friend, even though we’d never met before. We got so caught up in our conversation that we didn’t even get a chance to open the text we were supposed to study. That’s how natural the conversation felt.

One of the most impactful things about Partners Baltimore has been the way it’s opened my eyes to the broader Jewish community in Baltimore. Coming from the close-knit Orthodox world, it’s easy to forget that there’s a whole city full of Jews who are living different experiences. The program reminded me that, especially in these challenging times, we need to be united. We often make assumptions about each other, but those assumptions dissolve when you sit down and really get to know someone.

Sharing Shabbat with Dori and her daughter was a highlight for me. Unfortunately, her husband and son couldn’t join us because of a prior obligation. Shabbat is my favorite time of the week — it’s when I can disconnect from the world and focus on what truly matters: family, friends and quality time.

Having Dori and her daughter there to experience that with us was special. For me, making sure Dori’s daughter had gluten-free options wasn’t just about the food — it was about making them feel like they belonged.

Together:

Partners Baltimore really inspired us to be more intentional about speaking to other Jews that we see out in the community. It really hit home that we are all part of a bigger greater Baltimore Jewish community.

Like, in Starbucks, if it looks like someone is Jewish, we’ll always try to smile at them more intentionally, or drop Jewish words like “oh I need to buy challah for Shabbat” so people will know we’re Jewish and start up a conversation.

If we could invite any Jewish historical figure to one of our Shabbat meals, it would be someone like Debra Messing or Noa Tishby, who have become strong advocates for our community. We would love to just chat with them and hear what they have to say. Oh, and Dr. Edith Eager. Imagine what an interesting conversation we’d all have at the Shabbat table! But in all honestly, the real magic happens when we, regular people, sit down together and connect over our shared experiences and values.

Join us at the next Partners Baltimore event!