Meet Jacob Wolf, a Community Connector with the Macks Jewish Connection Network. As a Jewish Dads Connector, Jacob is building a Jewish community for Dads in Baltimore. Below, he shares his jewish dad journey of connection, community and creating meaningful spaces for fathers.

My journey as a Connector is shaped by my own family life and experiences, so here’s a bit about who I am and how Judaism and fatherhood intersect for me.

Judaism and Fatherhood

One of the things I love about Judaism is how unique each individual Jewish journey is.  Every Jew is different and each of us practices the laws and customs differently over a broad spectrum. We must find for ourselves a way of Jewish practice that works for us and our family. There is no right or wrong way to be a Jew, and most of us learn “how” and “why” to practice Judaism from our parents. This is metaphoric for fatherhood and raising Jewish kids.  

There is no right or wrong way to be a father, but it is important to emulate the values and ethics that you, the parent, believe, hoping your children will learn “how” and “why” from you. Just as with being a Jew, as long as every day you (and your kids) are growing, learning and acting with a set of ethics and morals, you are doing great.  

Creating Space for Dads

I’ve organized several social and spiritual events — from a group Orioles game, bonfire night and Torah on the Trail hike to a Chanukah party and more. I try to create spaces for dads, who are so often lost in their work and family life, to have a Jewish space for themselves.

One of our keynote events last spring was a pre-Passover mock seder called “Not Your Zeyde’s Seder.” I noticed that when talking with my cohort, none of the Jewish Dads celebrated Passover the same way!  Some of the dads are Jews by choice or have never been part of a traditional seder. Others grew up going to religious day school or are Shomer Shabbat and most are somewhere in between.  

I wanted to highlight how diverse everybody’s Jewish practice is and how that is not only OK, but a wonderful thing to celebrate! We took time to learn about different customs and ideas that work across our community and especially for families with young children. 

 Almost every participant, including me, implemented something new they learned at our mock Seder during their at-home seder. How awesome for a couple dozen dads across the Jewish spectrum to come together with open minds and open hearts and take away beautiful new traditions for their families!

Advice for Other Dads

It’s hard to come out of your comfort zone and to be vulnerable enough to make connections. Men especially have a tough time — blame biology, not yourself. If you can remember that we share in being Jewish, we are not so different after all.  

Try to approach others with an open mind and an open heart, setting the table for friendship. We are all hungry and we all have something to bring. If you set the table, perhaps you will enjoy a beautiful meal with a new friend. 

If you would like to learn more about Community Connectors and find your community, visit Macks Jewish Connection Network to learn more.