Meet Reset and Refresh's Andrea Marcin and T.J. Flynn

As members of The Associated’s and Macks Jewish Connection Network’s Reset & Refresh, an interfaith couple’s cohort, Andrea and T.J. spent the last few months learning about the rhythm and joys of Shabbat. As they’ve navigated blending their backgrounds and building shared traditions, they’ve embraced learning, community and new ways to make Shabbat their own.

Read more about Andrea and T.J.’s background and their experience with the inaugural Reset & Refresh Cohort.

Tell us about yourselves! Where did you both grow up, go to school where do you live now?

Andrea: I grew up right here in Pikesville! I’m a “double Terp,” as I attended the University of Maryland for undergrad and Law School. I worked in public interest law and I lived about ten steps away from Camden Yards for almost a decade.

T.J.: I grew up in Kentucky and went to undergrad at the University of Kentucky (Go Big Blue). I completed grad school at the University of Michigan (Go Blue) before moving to Maryland for a job as an acoustical oceanographer. I currently live in Ellicott City.

How did you two meet?

We met on Hinge, but our first date was at Nepal House on Charles St over plates of veggie korma and saag paneer.

What’s been your favorite memory as a couple so far?

We’ve been fortunate to have a lot of great memories together, but one of our favorites is biking down La Reforma Ave in Mexico City with thousands of other bikers, skaters, and runners. It reminded us of our love for Baltimore Bike Party, a festive group ride the last Friday of every month, but with the added thrill of experiencing a new city & culture.

T.J. – What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned about Judaism so far?

Since I’ve never been particularly religious, I found the secular elements of Judaism the most compelling. The Shabbat tenet of taking a deliberate break from work to simply be present with loved ones particularly resonated with me.

What initially drew you to learn more and join the Reset & Refresh cohort?

Being in a long-term interfaith relationship can present some challenges when it comes to values, traditions, and raising children, and as our relationship has grown, we’ve begun to broach these topics. Reset and Refresh seemed like a great opportunity to learn more about each other through semi-structured events with a cohort of individuals at similar points along their shared journeys. And the prospect of making new friends for double dates was an added bonus!

What has been your favorite session or activity in the cohort so far?

The practice Shabbat was the stand-out event for us. Not only did we have a fantastic multi-course meal, but it was great having each of the couples handle a different Shabbat ritual. From the literal greeting upon entering, to passing around the challah, to us leading a guitar-accompanied rendition of “Shabbat Shalom” at the end of the night (that was only slightly out of tune), it was a great capstone event for the whole cohort.

What do you hope to take away from Reset & Refresh?

This cohort provided a great environment for us to dive deeper into each other’s values through conversations with each other and with our peers. The structure of the events, each focusing around a unique theme relating to Shabbat, invited discussion, questions, and contemplation that don’t always come up naturally when we’re making dinner or binge-watching Hulu. We hope to take away from R&R a stronger appreciation for each other’s values, both shared and distinct, and to maintain a level of curiosity that keeps us asking and learning more about each other.

Reset & Refresh is a welcoming space for young couples of mixed heritage* to slow down, self-discover, strengthen relationships and explore what Jewish life can look like, together.

*Being mixed heritage includes combinations that cross religions, denominations, spiritual practices, race, ethnicity and backgrounds. Participating couples might include two people who identify as Jewish and have varied Jewish lived experiences and a couple where one member identifies with another religion or is an agnostic, along with many other variations.

If you are interested in learning more about Reset & Refresh, please contact Sarah Machlis or Erica Bloom.