Let’s start at the beginning. Growing up Jewish.  

Ruth: I grew up in Upper Montclair, a Northern New Jersey bedroom community of New York City. There were not many Jewish families in our town. When I was in sixth grade and my sister was in kindergarten, there were perhaps four to five Jewish kids in our elementary school. I remember arriving at Goucher for college and thinking that I never so many Jewish women in one place – except for at Temple. 

Yet, Judaism was always an important part of my life. Our family was Reform, and I grew up at the temple two towns away where we were a third-generation family. 

Jay: I also grew up in Northern New Jersey, and my grandparents were the founders of a local conservative synagogue. As a teen, I was involved with our synagogue youth group, president of the local chapter of AZA and president of Young Judea.  

We moved to Bergenfield, N.J. when I was five. I became friendly with four boys my age who lived on my street. It was here that I was first exposed to the Holocaust. One of their moms was a camp survivor; another mother was raised in a French convent, where she was placed by her parents. They were later killed in the camps. 

So you both landed in Baltimore for college (Jay at Hopkins, Ruth at Goucher), then ultimately made the city your home. How did you get involved with The Associated? 

Jay: I was an attorney working at Venable and was assigned to a real estate transaction for Willard Hackerman. As we waited for all parties to arrive, we began to chat. When I told them I lived in Bolton Hill, near several old synagogues, they were surprised to discover that I was Jewish.  

The result of the conversation was that Mr. Hackerman and I became friends, and he recommended me for the Young Leadership program at The Associated. I joined Young Leadership the first year it became co-ed. Before1978, there was Young Men’s Leadership and a separate Young Women’s Leadership program held during the day. The Associated recognized that working women like Ruth weren’t able to attend daytime meetings. 

Ruth: I remember Jay got me involved with The Associated. I became the first female co-chair of the coed Young Leadership Program with Roger Levin. 

Jay: I was the young leadership campaign chair during my second year. With the blessing of Willard Hackerman and Shoshana Cardin, we formed the Young Executive and Professional division. We held social events where we talked about The Associated and the agencies to educate other young adults. 

I understand the program has a special place for the two of you as a couple. 

Ruth: I’ll never forget, Jay told me he was going on a young leadership mission to Israel. Initially, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go, but changed my mind. We announced our engagement on the trip at the Kind David Hotel. 

Let’s get to the issue you both are concerned about. Antisemitism.  

Ruth: Over the years, we’ve both been active with our colleges and their campus Hillels – me with Goucher, Jay with Hopkins. We have seen antisemitism build on campuses way before October 7. October 7 just magnified everything.  

Jay: We would tell our friends and family members what we saw, and they thought we were crazy. After October 7, they said, ‘you were right, and we didn’t listen.” 

What were you seeing? 

Ruth: DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion) programs had become big on college campuses after the death of George Floyd. The problem with formal DEI programs on campuses is that they do not take antisemitism into consideration and ignore the challenges faced by Jews.  

Jay: For years, colleges have been talking about the BDS (Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions) movement. It is a well-funded, well-crafted organization. Academic organizations were signing resolutions to divest from Israel. And the idea of intersectionality, where the world is divided into the oppressed and the oppressors was steadily gaining ground. 

Ruth: There was no nuance. Israel was tagged as a settler colonial country despite the 3,000 years of continued existence. 

Jay: Groups like Students for Justice in Palestine are very well-funded and organized. You saw it on October 8 when Palestinian flags miraculously appeared all over. Do you think people just had them in their closets and pulled them out? It was very well planned. 

You both are committed to combatting antisemitism. 

Ruth: Jay and I held a parlor meeting for The Associated and invited people with different backgrounds. Howard Libit (executive director of the Baltimore Jewish Council [BJC]) and Rabbi Josh Snyder (executive director of Goucher Hillel) spoke. They talked about what they are doing on the frontlines and how money from The Associated is supporting these programs from the BJC and Hillel. 

Howard recently spoke at Roland Park Country School, where our daughter went, and we sat in on the presentation. He shared facts about Israel and Gaza and answered anonymous questions. He was amazing. We should send him to all the high schools. 

Jay: We both work closely with the Hillels at our respective colleges, providing advice, working with the administration and more. 

There is so much information out there. What do you recommend we read? 

Jay: I would recommend The Free Press, which was founded by Bari Weiss, Noa Tishby and if you have HBO, listen to Bill Mahr’s monologues. He’s been openly supporting Israel since October 7. 

Ruth: Also Avi Melamed and Douglas Murray. 

Advice? 

Ruth: Be willing to listen to all sides and don’t be afraid to say what may not be popular. If it’s important enough, show up. 

Jay: Have the facts. 

Anything else? 

Jay: I’m so fortunate to have a life partner that feels things as deeply as I do.