I spent two years trying to make connections and build a life here, but something was missing. I had friends but still felt like a stranger in a strange land. As I rang in 2023, I resolved to tap into the one community I had neglected but so desperately needed — our Jewish community. As I sit here, one year later, I can confidently say that I have not just accomplished this goal but have exceeded what I could have ever imagined. And it all started with Shabbat.  

Over the summer, I had the pleasure of attending a four-day camp experience for young Jewish professionals. We arrived Friday afternoon, had some time to mingle, and quickly transitioned into Shabbat mode. I was excited but nervous.  

Was I going to fit in? Were the other campers going to judge my lack of Shabbat experience? What happens if I make a mistake?  

The negative thoughts were swimming in my head. That is until a staff member at the camp said something that I will never forget. They said, “Don’t worry. Shabbat is a choose your own adventure experience. You should do whatever makes you feel at peace.”  

From that moment on, I allowed the experience to wash over me. I tried new traditions, embraced new practices, and had time to reflect on how ritualizing this time off could be what I was missing most in my life. Since then, I have made it a regular practice.  

So, what does my Shabbat look like, you may be asking? In short, for me, no two Shabbats are the same. Each week, I find new ways to feel the Shabbat spirit.  

Sometimes, it’s a night of personal time to decompress. On other nights, it’s PJs and game night with the ladies, a RuPaul’s Drag Race watch party with my sister, a picnic in the park with friends and much more. All of these Shabbats have brought me so much joy, but none more than opening my home to folks who are, like I was one year ago, without a support system to lean on.  

I have had the pleasure of hosting a few open-door Shabbats since I started this spiritual journey. Each time, I get to meet new, incredible people I would never have had the opportunity to connect with if not for the tradition of Shabbat. Each person who enters my home knows that they can come as they are and participate in whatever way makes them feel comfortable and connected. What I get in return cannot be measured. I feel incredibly enriched by this community we are building by meaningfully marking this time each week.  

So here is my call to action — choose your own adventure! Use Shabbat as a catalyst to finding joy, peace, community or whatever it is you are missing in your life right now. In doing so you may just create a life you never thought was possible, just like I have.